I'm well aware that I have posted a lot of personal crap on my blog. From problem periods, to eHarmony woes, to venting about my ex-boss and randomly ranting, I use my blog to piss and moan sometimes. And you know what? I'm okay with that. It's MY blog, and so far I think I'm pretty anonymous. I really only have about 3 regular readers (if that). I don't use my real name, location or e-mail address anywhere. Oh sure, those pictures up in my blog header are all really me, but no internet stalkers have come looking for me yet.
But Facebook? That's a different story. I have somewhere in the neighborhood of 300 Facebook friends. Granted, the majority of them are people I went to high school with nearly ten years ago, and I don't maintain any kind of consistent contact with all 300 of them. Actually, if I'm being realistic, I maybe -- maybe -- regularly communicate with about 30 of my Facebook "friends." The real point I'm getting at though, is that at one time or another, I knew (or still know) every one of those 300 people personally. Some are former Girl Scout friends, there are some former co-workers, some are old neighbors, I have even done the unthinkable and "friended" my mother, aunts, uncles and grandparents.
And so, because I know (or knew) all of my Facebook friends at some point, that's why I choose to use my blog as my venting medium of choice rather than my Facebook page. If I spout off on the blog, maybe two or three people see it. Of course, maybe some random anonymous lurkers are reading too, but chances are good that they don't know me from the next girl they'll pass on the street. It feels safe to vent, rant, bitch and complain on my blog. Facebook does not feel safe. I do not want my grandfather knowing about my "girl problems;" I don't want my ex-boss's daughter knowing what I say about her dad (in hindsight, adding her as a Facebook friend was a HUGE mistake on my part, but I'm not going to be an ass and unfriend her now. She never did anything to me, and it's not her fault that her father is King Douchewad).
But some of my Facebook friends obviously haven't discovered the joy of dumping their woes and complaints out into the blogosphere yet. Maybe some of them don't WANT a blog, and that's okay. Blogs are not for everyone. But here is a piece of advice I would offer up: Before you post something on Facebook, please, for the love of everything good and holy, think twice about what you're putting out for everyone to see. Think about the people who populate your list of "friends:" your parents, your siblings, your co-workers, maybe even your grandparents (hopefully you're not crazy enough to have your boss as a Facebook friend). And while you're thinking about that, remember that the powers that be at Facebook change the site's privacy settings just about every day without telling you what they're doing. So, just because you think your profile is pretty locked down doesn't mean it really is. Remember that potential (or current!) employers can be searching for you. Now, in my humble opinion, get a load of a few real-life examples of things my Facebook "friends" have posted that never should have been shared.
"OMFG, the sex with my man last night was epic! Seriously, next-level shit."
Umm, what?! Now, this girl is not an IRL (in real life) friend of mine. She actually has the same name as one of my former co-workers, and I added her as an FB friend because I was searching for my former co-worker, I found this girl and saw that we had a couple of friends in common, and I thought she was in fact my former co-worker (they look a little bit alike). When I found out she wasn't who I thought she was, we remained friends anyway because we were FarmVille neighbors (FarmVille and Mafia Wars are evil for that reason... I know people who have 1,200 friends, and I would bet $100 that at least 900 of those friends are for gaming purposes only). Anyway, when she posted that, her mom went, "Whoa! TMI." Her dad made some silly little emoticon that looked like an embarrassed little face. Her friends said, "Seriously? You felt the need to post that?" And she was just like, "Yep, it was BOMB, dudes!" Ooookay then.
Mother's status update: "My daughter is a reckless whore!"
Daughter's status update: "My mother is a crazy bitch!"
Yes, I am friends with this mother-daughter pair, and they really do post status updates to that effect. Ladies, take your fights offline, please. The drama is ridiculous.
"I'm pregnant!" (caption to pic of pregnancy test)
This is coming from the same girl in the example above who called her mom a crazy bitch. Now, I really have to clarify something here, because there are times that pictures of a pregnancy test are cute, or maybe even appropriate. If you have struggled with infertility or miscarriages or other issues in getting and/or staying pregnant, please, by all means, post a picture of your pregnancy test and celebrate! I mean that wholeheartedly. If you are newly married or in a committed relationship for a long time and you are pregnant for the first time, go ahead and upload a picture of your pregnancy test. People might think it's cute. BUT... but but but..... If you have solidified your reputation as a reckless whore loose goose and you slept with some guy on the first date and got pregnant, and your family is ready to disown you because they raised you better than that, please do not post a pic of your test. It's not cute. It's slutty.
It doesn't make me proud to say this, but this gem came from a family member. Do I really need to explain to anyone why this status (and subsequent commenting) is wrong?
All that said, here is the bottom line: We were all equipped with filters. And many of us do not use them nearly as often as we should. The poor brain-to-mouth filter is too often neglected, evidenced by the times many of us say something and then think," Oh shit, I should NOT have said that." And obviously, the brain-to-finger filter is now being neglected by many, judging by the number of crazy Facebook posts. Please, people, PLEASE -- don't neglect the filter.
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